Respect My Superpowers! - July 3, 2008

Faster than a speeding ballet! More powerful than a loco-pollo!! Able to mount tall toilets at a single bound!!! Look in the sky! It's a bird! It's a plane!! It's BIOHAZARD MAN!!!!

Yes, it's
BIOHAZARD MAN, strange visitor from another planet who came to Earth with powers and abilities far beyond those of mortal men. BIOHAZARD MAN, who can raise the pollution of mighty rivers, bend plastic in his bare hands; and who, disguised as Steve Kelley, mild-mannered process engineer for a great aerospace conglomerate, fights a never ending battle for truth, justice, and the American way. Don't mess with BIOHAZARD MAN - he neutralizes his enemies a mile or more away with a burst of toxic pee from his mutant bladder, consigning them to a slow and painful death. Given enough iced tea BIOHAZARD MAN can pee a secure a perimeter or cordon an area for quarantine. No mortal being can dare to stand against BIOHAZARD MAN's unique bio-immunotherapy enhanced urine stream! Join with him as he continues the never-ending fight against evildoers while resisting the lure of the dark side! Yes, it's BIOHAZARD MAN, the greatest American hero!!! And YOU can help him in his daily battle to find his sworn arch enemy - Rubberglove Man - and bring that evil villain to justice!!!

Sure, it's silly. What's the point of having a dreaded disease and a comically toxic treatment if you can't have some fun with it? And while the picture above certainly lines up with the fantasy, the reality is somewhat more gritty. One thing to never forget, and always remember - don't EVER stand between
BIOHAZARD MAN and the nearest toilet! This second picture to the right is more representative of our real-life superhero - the man - the legend...uh, the chunky guy in a cape that's REALLY gotta pee!!!!

As it turns out, there is already a comic book character called Biohazard, pictured below, but BIOHAZARD MAN was up for grabs... Thanks to my brother GiantFoamFinger Man for his inspiration and dedication to all things superhero!


Marta said...

Very entertaining. I'm glad you can keep your sense of humor through this. And also glad that it's not life threatening. Still compiling my top 10 pee candidates. :) Have a safe 4th.

Mandy Smith said...

Hilarious. This is how I feel about bcg also. As a fact, being 33 and having battled bladder cancer for the last 5 years, this past week I have found that I am going to do another course of this with interferon.
As I blogged on my own site...My bathroom will be immaculate...if not potentially infectious!
Good luck on yuor journey. I hope you continue to receive good news.