Bladder Biopsy in the UK - December 23, 2008

Hello and Merry Christmas to all. The inspiration (and much of the content) of today's post is brought to you courtesy of David F. in Kent (near London). He has managed to describe the UK bladder biopsy process, atmosphere, and capture the essence of the event with good humor, considering the circumstances. One major difference between US and UK medical care, besides how its funded, is the fact that in the UK you work with a National Health Service "Consultant," assigned randomly based on who is on duty and what your condition is. This person, who may be a specialist (depending on the factors) arranges everything - dates, doctors, assistants, in-hospital scheduling, bureaucracy running, etc. On no occasion do you choose WHO does WHAT to you. Other doctors, surgeons, and nursing staff are all assigned by who's on duty when you are there, and perhaps within that subset the consultant may have a little influence. Where you go, hospitals, clinics, etc. are a matter of negotiation rather than convenience. Only the consultant follows your personal case from beginning to end. In the US you the patient call all the shots. You choose the doctors (subject to limitations of which ones participate in your health insurance plan, but if you pay the full price you can choose anyone), you choose the dates (if the doctors and place are available), and you have the option to accept or reject any treatment pattern or portion thereof. Since most in the US are now content to be ignorant of most non-entertainment-related subjects and to let others (the smart people) figure out the hard things, the current preference for a socialized system makes a perverted sort of sense. But since YOU are choosing to educate yourself by reading this blog, then YOU may actually prefer our imperfect US system over the UK one. In any case, take a look at what a simple bladder biopsy procedure looks and feels like in the UK. For comparison, the same procedure would be done by my Urologist, on a date that was mutually agreeable, in his office with a local anesthetic, and I would probably be able to drive myself home within an hour or so.

Scar Wars VI
Return of the Bed - I
In a Galaxy Far, Far Away

Our Hero returns having been trained by Yogi.

Our Hero has lost his sense of Tumour.
All that is left of the Carcinoma in Situ has been blown away.
The BCG and its Forces of Good have smashed the remaining cells of resistance.
Once again the bladder functions as it should.

Our Hero, keen to ensure no further outbreak of hostilities goes once again into the NHS

Filled with Trepidation (and other mind bending drugs) he enters the Theatre of Operations. Just One More Time!Darth Urologist and her evil henchmen having failed to operate last time are keen to get our hero on to the table? "Do you expect me talk Darth?". "No I expect you to cry" Having starved, as instructed and arrived shaken, not stirred at the Hospital, our hero was led immediately to Theatre Preparation but was told, as were the others in the area - "don't get changed as we don't have any beds and you may be cancelled." "Deja Vu" thought our Hero Nero! "What did you say?". "Deja Vu" "Wow I thought you were about to say that". Time ticked by and our hero practices deep breathing and self hypnosis and listens to music and generally brings his blood pressure from off the boil to slightly above having your head squeezed in a vice.

Then the inevitable happens, the Registrar walked in and said that we are cancelled but asks me alone to stay as I am a priority and it might be possible to find a bed. The chap opposite gets dressed and goes off to enjoy Christmas and new Year without his Prostate being bored out. The other chap, who has been very nervously waiting decides to pay to go private and within 15 minutes he is signed up and gowned and off to Theatre giving me a nervous look and a thumbs up. I smile and wave reassuringly to him. He looks like I feel - poor fella, I know what he will feel like in the morning...

Interesting stuff? Read the rest of the story on David's Blog HERE.